9/1/14 BURN Fitness 101: Do you want a new drug? One that does what it should?
Yes, I know… if you’re as old as me, you recognize that as a song lyric; Huey Lewis and the News. He wanted a new drug… One that made him feel great, but without any negative side effects… one that made him feel like he felt when he was falling in love. Well… I don’t have that! But I have something close. And here’s the kick… I’m a pusher. I’m your dealer. Better yet, I can get you a prescription for this new drug. Completely legal! You can get it on the streets, or there are venders all over town… but I have access to the purest form!
Let me tell you about “X”!
X isn’t really new. It’s been around forever, and comes in various forms. It pretty obviously hasn’t been investigated by the DEA, the FDA, or the local police. I’ve seen a LOT of them. SOME I suspect are using X… but most aren’t. But let’s get down to business (or pleasure if you like)… What does X do?
X is a drug that causes euphoria.
But it works only if you take high enough doses, and for a significant period of time. It’s not a “quick high” like many drugs. It takes a while… But TRUST ME it’s worth the wait! Use of X actually causes increasing release of endorphins in the brain. These endorphins are “pleasure hormones” that give us a natural long-lasting high, which is mildly addictive. Once you get that rush of endorphins, your brain wants it again and again. However, unlike other controlled stimulants, this hormone in your brain is completely HEALTHY! It’s not a damaging all-consuming addiction. It’s an addiction that can make you better at everything you do; the only drawback? X works nearly identically in ALL people…some will feel it their first “hit”, while for others the high takes a little longer.
X is the most powerful fat-burner known to man.
Again, it’s not an instant “lose 30 pounds in 30-days” fat-burner; its effects multiply, with each dose building on previous doses, becoming a more and more powerful fat-burner. If you take X long enough, eventually you’ll have to eat MORE just to keep from losing weight! Trust me… I’m living proof of that!
X is a powerful anti-depressant.
Building on its endorphin response, and many other factors both physical and chemical in your body, continuous regular use of X has shown to naturally decrease stress, relieve anxiety, elevate mood, alleviate depression, improve children’s social behavior…
YES, I said CHILDREN! X is incredibly effective for kids! And yes… your doctor will APPROVE of giving you kids X!
So what else does X do??? Let’s see: X can…
Reduce blood pressure, reduce joint pain, improve cholesterol, stabilize blood sugar, build lean muscle, lower triglycerides, improve energy, improve digestion, increase sex drive, improve your sleep, boost testosterone and HGH, suppress the desire to drink and do other drugs, introduce you to healthy, fit, attractive people, help your dog lose weight, improve your relationship with your kids, bring families together for something other than screen-time, and even… effectively reverse the aging process so that many X users seem to look and even feel MANY years younger… but only after continuous and repeated use.
Okay…. X is AMAZING! Holy shit… Where do I get some???
And gasp… WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE SIDE EFFECTS?
Well…. Like I said at the start, if you really want X… I’m a dealer. I’ve got some of the best “stuff” around, and I’ve got plenty of it! The side effects are strongest when you first start using X, and they are worst in the first week. Muscle soreness is the most noticeable side effect, but that will diminish over time. Muscle soreness can and will recur with continual use, but like the sting of the needle from heroin… that soreness means the pleasure is about to come! LOL! You’ll learn to welcome a little pain (a very little pain), that comes before the huge pleasure.
But then unlike heroin… you can literally binge on X for months straight and in the end they won’t find your diseased corpse in a ditch somewhere outside Chinatown…
In the near-term… X has been known to become an issue in existing relationships. One partner becomes a regular user of X… but the other refuses. Hopefully the partner will eventually come around and see what X is doing for their significant other, and get hooked too… but if not… the addict will almost always find another user that fits into their addictive lifestyle and becomes an enabler, instead of a inhibitor!
I sell X directly out of my place of business! And, I’m happy to say, my addict-girlfriend, and love of my life, is actually a heavier user of X than even I am… Both in our mid-forties, we never plan on quitting X. We wouldn’t think of it! It feels sooooo good, and keeps us young!
Oh…. Wait… I’m sorry! I’ve just been using the slang term, “X” for this drug all along! Some of you might want to know what the clinical term for X is… Maybe some of you have guessed it…
It’s called EXERCISE.
Come see Lisa and I… We’ll hook you up!
Yes, I know… if you’re as old as me, you recognize that as a song lyric; Huey Lewis and the News. He wanted a new drug… One that made him feel great, but without any negative side effects… one that made him feel like he felt when he was falling in love. Well… I don’t have that! But I have something close. And here’s the kick… I’m a pusher. I’m your dealer. Better yet, I can get you a prescription for this new drug. Completely legal! You can get it on the streets, or there are venders all over town… but I have access to the purest form!
Let me tell you about “X”!
X isn’t really new. It’s been around forever, and comes in various forms. It pretty obviously hasn’t been investigated by the DEA, the FDA, or the local police. I’ve seen a LOT of them. SOME I suspect are using X… but most aren’t. But let’s get down to business (or pleasure if you like)… What does X do?
X is a drug that causes euphoria.
But it works only if you take high enough doses, and for a significant period of time. It’s not a “quick high” like many drugs. It takes a while… But TRUST ME it’s worth the wait! Use of X actually causes increasing release of endorphins in the brain. These endorphins are “pleasure hormones” that give us a natural long-lasting high, which is mildly addictive. Once you get that rush of endorphins, your brain wants it again and again. However, unlike other controlled stimulants, this hormone in your brain is completely HEALTHY! It’s not a damaging all-consuming addiction. It’s an addiction that can make you better at everything you do; the only drawback? X works nearly identically in ALL people…some will feel it their first “hit”, while for others the high takes a little longer.
X is the most powerful fat-burner known to man.
Again, it’s not an instant “lose 30 pounds in 30-days” fat-burner; its effects multiply, with each dose building on previous doses, becoming a more and more powerful fat-burner. If you take X long enough, eventually you’ll have to eat MORE just to keep from losing weight! Trust me… I’m living proof of that!
X is a powerful anti-depressant.
Building on its endorphin response, and many other factors both physical and chemical in your body, continuous regular use of X has shown to naturally decrease stress, relieve anxiety, elevate mood, alleviate depression, improve children’s social behavior…
YES, I said CHILDREN! X is incredibly effective for kids! And yes… your doctor will APPROVE of giving you kids X!
So what else does X do??? Let’s see: X can…
Reduce blood pressure, reduce joint pain, improve cholesterol, stabilize blood sugar, build lean muscle, lower triglycerides, improve energy, improve digestion, increase sex drive, improve your sleep, boost testosterone and HGH, suppress the desire to drink and do other drugs, introduce you to healthy, fit, attractive people, help your dog lose weight, improve your relationship with your kids, bring families together for something other than screen-time, and even… effectively reverse the aging process so that many X users seem to look and even feel MANY years younger… but only after continuous and repeated use.
Okay…. X is AMAZING! Holy shit… Where do I get some???
And gasp… WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE SIDE EFFECTS?
Well…. Like I said at the start, if you really want X… I’m a dealer. I’ve got some of the best “stuff” around, and I’ve got plenty of it! The side effects are strongest when you first start using X, and they are worst in the first week. Muscle soreness is the most noticeable side effect, but that will diminish over time. Muscle soreness can and will recur with continual use, but like the sting of the needle from heroin… that soreness means the pleasure is about to come! LOL! You’ll learn to welcome a little pain (a very little pain), that comes before the huge pleasure.
But then unlike heroin… you can literally binge on X for months straight and in the end they won’t find your diseased corpse in a ditch somewhere outside Chinatown…
In the near-term… X has been known to become an issue in existing relationships. One partner becomes a regular user of X… but the other refuses. Hopefully the partner will eventually come around and see what X is doing for their significant other, and get hooked too… but if not… the addict will almost always find another user that fits into their addictive lifestyle and becomes an enabler, instead of a inhibitor!
I sell X directly out of my place of business! And, I’m happy to say, my addict-girlfriend, and love of my life, is actually a heavier user of X than even I am… Both in our mid-forties, we never plan on quitting X. We wouldn’t think of it! It feels sooooo good, and keeps us young!
Oh…. Wait… I’m sorry! I’ve just been using the slang term, “X” for this drug all along! Some of you might want to know what the clinical term for X is… Maybe some of you have guessed it…
It’s called EXERCISE.
Come see Lisa and I… We’ll hook you up!